What makes a great parent?
A good parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the most effective interest of the child.
What can make a great parent is not only defined by the parent 's actions, but additionally the intention of theirs.
A great parent doesn't need to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. No kid is perfect either … keeping this in your mind is important when we set the expectations of ours.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. Though it doesn't imply that we should not work towards that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves first and then the children of ours next. We serve as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
The following are 10 suggestions that can help you be a better parent, learn great parenting skills, and stay away from bad parenting.
Not all of them happen to be that easy.
Not everyone is able to do them constantly.
Nevertheless, even in case you only do part of these suggestions in this parenting guidebook, you'll be moving in the correct direction in case you continue working on them.
#1 BE An excellent Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Do not simply tell the child of yours everything you want them to do.
The best way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation. We are programmed to copy others' actions, understand them, and integrate them in to our personal. Children, particularly, watch everything the parents of theirs do very thoroughly.
Thus, function as the individual you would like your child to be - respect your child, show them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child's emotion - as well as your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Show your love.
There is simply no such thing as loving the child of yours a lot of. Loving them cannot spoil them.
Just what you decide to do (or give) in the name of love can - things like material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over protection. When these items are given in place of real love, that is when you will have a spoiled child.
Loving the child of yours may be as simple as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also listening to your child's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love is able to trigger the release of feel good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals can bring us a full sense of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the kid, will acquire resilience and never to mention a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Infants are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create the thoughts of ours, drive our actions, shape our personalities, and essentially determine who we are. They're created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give the child of yours positive family interaction, especially in the early years. They'll then be able to see positive experiences themselves and provide them to others.
But if you give your child bad experiences, they won't have the development type needed for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go on the park. Laugh with your child. Allow them to have good attention. Ride with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections in your child's brain and create the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems difficult to remain positive, especially when dealing with behavior issues. But it's possible by using positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a great parent means you need to teach your child the morals of what is right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being constant is the golden rule to good discipline. Be kind and firm when you set rules and implement them. Focus on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be a chance for them to find out for the future in a positive way, instead of to get punished for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Tey letting the child of yours know that you'll remain there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to the needs of theirs. Support and accept the child of yours as an individual. Be a safe and warm place for your child to explore from and go back to.
Kids raised by parents who are consistently responsive have much better emotional regulation development, social skills development, along with emotional health outcomes.
#5: Talk with YOUR CHILD And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us already know the value of communication. Talk to your child and also listen to them thoroughly. By maintaining an open line of communication, you will have a better connection with the child of yours and your kid may come to you when there's an issue.
But there is another reason for communication. You help your kid integrate various parts of their brain, a critical process in a kid's development.
Integration is akin to our body, in which various organs should coordinate and work in concert to maintain a healthy body. When different regions of the brain are incorporated, they can work harmoniously as an entire, which means fewer tantrums, more good behavior, more empathy, and better mental well-being.
To do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication.
You don't have to provide solutions. You don't have to have all of the answers to be a good parent. Simply paying attention to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using words that are simple are going to help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate the memories of theirs.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
Many of us want to parent differently from our parents. Even people who had an excellent upbringing and a thankful childhood may want to change several elements of how they were brought up.
But really frequently, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak just like our own parents did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is an action towards understanding the reason we parent how we do. Make note of things you would like to change and think of how you'd get it done differently in a genuine scenario. Attempt to be aware and change your behavior the next time those issues come up.
Do not quit if you do not succeed in the beginning. It will take practice, lots of practice to consciously change one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Focus on Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents need relief also.
Pay attention to your own well-being to avoid parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including your own needs or maybe the overall health of your marriage are placed on the back burner when a child is born. When you don't pay attention to them, they are going to become bigger problems down the road. Take time to enhance your relationship with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents tend to be more prone to fighting. Do not be afraid to ask for parenting help. To have some "me time" for self-care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the mind.
How parents take proper care of their child physically and mentally can make a big difference in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, also.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
No doubt, for some parents, spanking can result in short-term compliance which sometimes is a much needed relief for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method doesn't teach the kid right from wrong. It simply teaches the child to fear outside consequences. The kid is then motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to the child that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or maybe hit is more prone to fighting along with other children. They are much more apt in order to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later on in life, they're also more apt to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, worse parent-child relationships, mental health problems, along with domestic violence victims or even abusers.
You will find a variety of better options to discipline which have been proven to be more effective, such as good discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is your goal in raising a kid?
When you are like the majority of parents, you want your child to do well in school, be prosperous, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy positive associations along with you and some, be to care and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
But how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you are like the majority of parents, you most likely spend the majority of the time simply attempting getting through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in their book, The Whole-Brain child, instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel frustrated or angry, step back. Consider what frustration and anger can do for you or your child.
Rather, look for ways to switch each bad experience right into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be turned into invaluable brain-sculpting moments if you concentrate on teaching the child of yours, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what is already known by scientists.
Parenting is among the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting strategies, traditions, or practices were scientifically researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For best parenting advice for raising a kid and info which are supported by science, here is one of my favorite science based parenting guides, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all approach. Every child is different. Quite possibly within the very best parenting style, there can be a variety of good parenting practices you can choose based on your child's temperament.
A very good example is using spanking to discipline. You will find numerous better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You can choose a non punitive discipline method that actually works best for the child of yours.
Of course, you can additionally choose to utilize "traditional" or "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also may nonetheless get a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that kids with different temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality is going to have better outcomes under great parenting but worse outcomes under poor parenting.
Those who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" regardless of how tough their parents treat them. Though it doesn't https://parentinghowto.com/ imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The importance of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It might require more work on your part in the short term but can help you save lots of agony and time in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it is also really rewarding. The bad part is the rewards typically come much later than the hard work. But in case we try our best now, we will ultimately reap the rewards and also have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!